The Waiting Room

by: Jacob Luis Gonzales

Feel the chill
hear the silence
see the devastation
in this waiting room

Nothing will fix it
something uncontrollable
possibly ending
impossibly empathizing

Who can help you
what can they say
when is the right time
where can I find peace?

Hope seems lost here
doubt grows larger
joy escapes with time
anger grows towards all

Crying for my friend
knowing my love
hearing his voice
wanting one more chance

He loves me so much
I doubt my chance to respond
they all fail to comfort
she might never know her dad

Surgeons unaware of the cause
family provides more headaches
friends say nice words in vain
husband unable to express his love

God seems angry at me
I feel like its punishment
He has proven His love before
I just don’t feel it

Please save my friend and husband
Thank you for bringing him back
Please help me feel Your love
Thank you for our family of three.

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It Is Time

Waiting another day
expecting the unexpected
while I doubt with certainty
because plans are never planned out.

The exhausting pursuit
of hope and joy
leads me to how lonely it is
to wonder the value of myself.

Understanding my importance
to my wife and child
pushes me forward to life,
whatever life I am destined to live.

There’s a piercing silence in the room
because no one engages
and people easily struggle
with speaking the unspoken.

The world moves quickly
without any personal involvement
from the unknown individuals
who are quick to say I’m an inspiration.

The audible words become something
which I can boil down to
personal numbness or personal pain
and neither option is hopeful.

Numerous times of inspiring
while quietly yelling my dissatisfaction.
Joyous for the moments I’ll be
remembered for my wife and daughter.

The questions people are afraid
to ask and hear the truth
are mysteriously obvious to me
but I guess they are obviously mysterious.

I yearn to asked the unasked
and people seem to ignore
the visible issues and queries
due to the lack of insistent sight.

Here is my desire:
speak honestly and painfully,
to have others listen compassionately
and listen to unattached to my worries.

I would be honestly disingenuous if
I typed that I always wanted
this undesirable experience to
be spoken of, but now is time.

It is time for the obvious questions.
It is time for freely spoken thoughts.
It is time for unashamed confidence.
It is time for my obedience to cry out.